The Next Chapter

As one chapter in my life has wrapped up, the next is just beginning.

Today marks my first full day on my own in my new home, Nashville, Tennessee.  I drove up with my family on Saturday, moved in on Sunday and Monday, and am now in the long process of sorting through all of the boxes that sit inside this new house that is now my home.

I'm getting ahead of myself - let me step back a minute...

This summer has been a whirlwind.  Here's the quick summary: home from Liberia; Nashville for a day to house-hunt; home to buy a car; bachelorette party for my sister; a couple days at home; my sister's wedding in Key West, FL; trip to Atlanta, GA, Wingate, NC, and Winston-Salem, NC for about 10 days; home for my sister's wedding celebration; 4 days at home; St. Louis, Missouri for Passport youth camp; family reunion/beach trip in Alligator Point, FL; home for 4 days; move to Nashville. 

People have asked me a few times how the "reverse culture-shock" has been, but with all that has been happening, I haven't had too much time to sit and process.  I think I've talked about this a little bit before, but the discomfort that comes with feeling strange in your own home comes and goes.  There are days when I feel completely normal in a Super Target and days when it feels like a foreign land.  There are times when I wish that I was still in Liberia, and times when it seems so far away and so different that it feels almost as if it were all a dream.  I try to surround myself with small reminders that help me hold my memories close and motivate me to try to stay in touch with the people in Liberia who have been so dear to me over this past year.  There are moments I miss it so deeply.  I look forward to the day when I will know for sure that I am going back.

In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on my new reality: Nashville.  I'm still in that awkward beginning phase of living in a new place when you don't really know who your friends are, where the grocery stores are, where to go for a run, etc.  I know I've experienced this each time I've moved to a new place, but it's funny how the memory of this part of the transition always fades so that when you experience the awkwardness, it takes you my surprise yet again.  I know in a month or two I will get used to being here, learn my way around, and maybe even make a friend or two.  In the meantime, I'm trying to appreciate the final few weeks of an unscheduled life before school starts and things really get going.

All I can hope for is that Nashville is as special to me as all the other cities I've lived in have been!!    

A Note of Clarification

This blog is not over. 

It's not about Liberia, exclusively.  It's about my trying to make a difference in the world and sharing my journey with you all.  So stay tuned... the blogs may be less frequent and may seem less exotic, but I'm going to try to keep it interesting :)

Things Change

It has been less than a week since I arrived back Stateside from Liberia, and it is unbelievable to me how quickly life has swept me back up into the frenzied pace I can't seem to get away from in America.  After over 30 hours of travel, I finally arrived home on Saturday night.  For all those who are wondering, my first meal was at a local Mexican restaurant: nachos for an appetizer, then a burrito with beans and rice for the meal (which I could barely even put a dent in after all those nachos!). 

Sunday my family and I went to my church in Tampa where I was greeted with the "surprise, you're speaking this morning!"  I suspected this might be the case though, and I don't at all mind impromptu talks about Liberia :)  It was great to see some familiar faces and be back in my church for the morning.  After church, the random errands began, from beginning looking for a car to getting a cell phone.  Monday the fast-pace persisted as I looked for a car, got my dress altered for my sister's wedding, and tried in vain to get a loan for said car at the bank.  Fortunately some of the car dealers think they might be able to make something work, so I'm holding out hope that I will find some means of transportation for the summer (and beyond)!

Tuesday morning I went to the airport super early to catch a flight to Nashville, TN, my new hometown... you can bet I was reluctant to get on an airplane again!!  The next day and a half in Nashville were nuts!  I think I looked at 9 different housing locations, met 3 prospective roommates, 3 students and a couple professors from my program, and got to spend time with my friend from Passport and host for the weekend, Klem-Mari.  At the end of it all, I have housing narrowed down to 3 options and will hopefully make a decision in the next few days and be able to check "find a place to live in August" off my list. 

I'm currently milling around the Cincinnati, Ohio airport after some flight misadventures.  Thankfully, I will make it back to Tampa tonight, with one minute to spare - 11:59pm. 

So I guess the pressing question of the moment is, "what's it like to be back in the States?"  This is a tough question to answer with any completeness, so I'll give you the summary response:
- It is good to see family and friends.
- It's nice to have the AC (even though it's blazing hot!), familiar food, showers, etc.
- It's not good to leave yourself zero time to re-adjust.  I'm exhausted in every sense of the word.
- America is a strange, strange place, and no matter how much anyone tries, no one knows my experiences from the last year (just like I will never fully know your experiences either).  I want people to look at me and recognize that I'm a white Liberian trying to get used to America, but they don't.  I want to talk about Liberia all the time, but it turns out that other people have other things they want to talk about as well...

With all that said, I am OK.  I'm slowly re-learning how to drive with speed limits and lines on the road, how to wear make-up or blow-dry my hair, how to carry a purse, how to send text messages, and all the little things I didn't realize I had almost forgotten how to do.

I think the strangest part of it all is not my surroundings - it's me.  I'm suddenly back in a place where I'm supposed to feel comfortable and familiar, but I don't.  In an indescribable way, I am uncomfortable.  I've changed, in ways I don't even know yet, and because of that my experience of the world around me is changing as well. 

It will all even out, and one day soon I will get at least 8 hours of sleep and slowly begin to figure out how to be an American again.  Until then, I'm just taking it one day at a time!

Last Post from Liberia

It feels impossible to explain how strange it is to be writing my last post from Liberia.  My head knows that this will be my last - for this time around at least - but the rest of me is struggling to grasp that reality. 

It's about 2:30pm right now here... as I go through this day, I keep reminding myself to soak it all in, because it's the last of each thing.  Enjoy the walk up the path to the school.  Enjoy this meal in the dining hall.  Enjoy the sound of the rain falling.  Enjoy the visits to the house from friends and neighbors. 

Enjoy it.  Remember it.  Appreciate it.  Don't forget it.

By the time I write my next post I'm sure this will all have set in more surely as I will actually be away from Ricks.  For now it's hard to shake the feeling that I'm just taking a short trip - a weekend away - and that I'll be back soon.  I have every intention of coming back one day, although I do not know when or in what capacity or for how long or who I will come with.  But I know that my return is not imminent.  It will be at least a year, likely more, before I can set foot on the soil of Liberia again. 

My emotions are mixed, for sure.  There's the obvious sadness of saying goodbye to the people who have been my family and the place that has been my home for the last 10 months.  There's a certain amount of curiosity, almost worry, about whether and how the things we have begun here at Ricks will continue.  There is great hope and expectation that the next time I see Ricks, and Liberia in general, it will look much different than it does now, in a really great way.  There is some apprehension about re-entering American culture after spending a year in a culture that is vastly different in so many ways. 

So it is with a heart and head swimming with all these thoughts and emotions that I prepare to say goodbye. 

Words are not sufficient... but I was listening to "Small Town Jericho" by Sugarland last night and I thought it appropriate for this occasion:

"It's hard to say goodbye,
Cause baby it's a good life.
Goodbye to memories that I saved
Goodbye to all the friends I made
Goodbye to all the home I'll ever know..."

And with that, there's nothing left to say but, "Farewell!  I'll catch you on the other side of the Atlantic."

The Daily Observer

Yesterday Ann Elizabeth and I had the chance to take one final trip with a group of students.  Throughout the year we have been leading a writing workshop with a group of 10 students.  We meet for an hour each week and listen to the students' writing and work to improve each person's skills.  Throughout the year we have worked on descriptive writing, research, informative writing, creative writing (writing short stories), writing about the past, writing about the future, etc.  We are continually impressed by the writing of each of our students... their creativity, unique way with words, and genuine enjoyment of the writing process.  In order to wrap up a great year, we wanted to take the students somewhere that would be educational yet enjoyable.  So on Tuesday we went into Monrovia to the headquarters of the Daily Observer, one of the most popular and oldest (it has been around since 1981) daily newspapers in Liberia.

Our contact person at the Daily Observer was Mr. Kenneth Best, Manager and Publisher of the paper.  Mr. Best had to be at least 70 years old, but you would never know from meeting him.  He was extremely knowledgeable (especially when it comes to Liberian history!), engaging, and inspiring in his conversation with our group.  He nit-picked the students pronunciation of every word - especially his last name... for example, his name isn't "Bess" or "Bea", it's "BesT."  As he pointed out, Liberians like to leave of the "t" or the "s" at the end of a word - but not in his office!  We stood in his office for well over 2 hours - although I think our backs and feet were all sore by the end, our minds were spinning.  We talked about everything including the secret love of a former President/poet, why he prefers to publish his most recent book here and not the US, how many times previous governments burned down the Daily Observer office because of the articles they wrote, and his time in prison for writing about the government.  I think we all could have stayed there talking with Mr. Best for the rest of the day without losing interest!

After talking with Mr. Best we met the new Associate Editor, Fatumata, a bright young woman who just recently accepted this new position.  She could certainly serve as an inspiration to many of our female students!  She showed us around the building to the IT room, the press room, the publishing room, the printer, and the library.  I think one of the most impressive things about the Daily Observer is how unimpressive the circumstances are where they are working.  The headquarters is an old building with a roof that leaks in the rain.  There is one small toilet in a space more akin to a closet than a bathroom.  There are a few new Dell desktop computer but otherwise the office is dominated by ancient-looking PCs and printers.  The work space appeared to mostly be large desks in small rooms used by as many people as could fit in the work space.  The library was nothing more than a small room with papers grouped together with manila folders and stacked in piles around the room.  Even the printing room was composed of only a few small printing machines; it was clear that if one broke, the whole operation would be thrown for a loop. 

Despite the limited resources, the Daily Observer puts out a lengthy newspaper, on time, each morning.  The paper features articles about health, the environment, sports, international news, local politics, economics, editorials, columns, and so much more.  The paper is one of the highest quality papers in Liberia.  Although Mr. Best pointed out that no paper is ever error-free, they strive to continually improve the paper and make it the best it can be. 

Some of the most exciting parts of our trip were the opportunities we were given by the Daily Observer.  They first offered to publish a short story written by one of our students this Saturday!!  We are working on editing the story now and will submit it tomorrow morning!  Additionally, they offered to publish any articles on environmental topics that our students wanted to write.  What an incredible opportunity for teenagers to have their work published in a major national newspaper!

We finished off our tour with sodas and biscuits (oreo-like cookies) generously provided by Mr. Best and the Daily Observer.  What a great trip!

If you want to check out the paper, you can do so here:
http://www.liberianobserver.com/

Dialogue from a Distance

On Thursday afternoon, Ann Elizabeth and I had the opportunity to travel to the American Library (a section of the US Embassy) with 5 students and their faculty sponsor, Mr. Sarnor, for a DVC (Digital Video Conference).  For these 5 students - Bendu, Isatta, Watchen, Joroam, and Theophilus - DVC was nothing new.  There have been several opportunities in the past for them to conference with others - whether they be at other schools in the US or members of a church, etc.  The DVC is no casual Skype session - it is typically a formal affair about a specific topic that involves hours of preparation before the conference.  Typically the DVCs are held in the morning so I have never been able to go due to my class schedule; with this one being in the afternoon it was the perfect opportunity for me to be able to see the students in action.  The information the students received prior to this session stated that the discussion would be held with students in South Africa and Uganda about the state of the Liberian government under Ellen Johnson Sirleaf's presidency and the progress or problems they perceived since she took office. 

We arrived at the American Library and sat around a U-shaped conference table with a TV and camera at the top of the U.  The room was fairly plain with the exception of pictures from Liberia - especially ones with the American Ambassador - and portraits of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Hilary Clinton.  After a little waiting, the TV was dialed into a conference.  We weren't sure exactly what was happening at first, but eventually we figured out we were watching a conference between the US and Cameroon but we were not participating.  That conference was mostly about journalism, freedom of press, and social networking sites.  We could see and hear the American participants well, but it was virtually impossible to hear the students in Cameroon.  After their conference was over, we were told it was Liberia's turn. 

New American panelists came out and we listened to them introduce themselves to boisterous applause.  Even though the panel was only made up of 5 people, it was evident they were in a large hall with a big audience.  No introduction of our students in Liberia was made.  The conference started with a discussion of youth leadership and how young people are involved in the development and rebuilding of post-war Liberia.  There was one question about progress being made in Liberia under Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, but then we seemed to go off on a tangent about how music inspires and influences youth.  These were not the questions that our students had spent hours preparing.  What was interesting to me was that the American and Liberian students were being asked similar questions; I expected each to talk about their own country, but apparently the American students had researched Liberia prior to the DVC.  While the American students sat in their large cushy chairs and gave responses on microphones met with boisterous applause, the students here in Liberia fought to speak loud enough for one central microphone to pick up their voice.  Worst of all, there was a terrible echo - delayed about 5 seconds - in our small little room.  Because of this delay, students were often cut off when they attempted to add to another student's response to a particular question.  The DVC was cut short after about 10 minutes due to technical difficulties - sadly before all the Liberian students even had a chance to speak.  After the DVC was over, we could hear comments being made to the participants in the US - "please go to such and such room for lunch."  We wished we could join in for lunch!  The difference in circumstances, to me, was stark. 

What was most impressive, however, was the composure with which our students performed in the situation.  It was clear their previous DVCs had not had these kind of technical difficulties.  Despite the echo, the seemingly random questions, and the general confusion of the DVC, the Ricks students were composed and confident in their answers.  I don't think anyone could tell that the answers they gave were not the responses they prepared.  Anyone who has observed the educational system in the US and Liberia will tell you that Liberia is behind - how could they not be after 14 years of civil war?  But in all honesty and with as much objectivity as possible, I would say the Liberian students answered the questions better than the American discussants.  This speaks volumes of these 5 youth and their potential as future leaders of Liberia. 

I left this DVC thinking over the whole situation.  Who was really benefiting from this?  At first I thought bitterly of the American students in their enormous hall with ego assuaging applause after every response and the authority with which they felt they could speak about Liberia after doing a little research.  And then I thought fondly of our Liberian students, sitting in their plain little room after hours of preparation feeling disappointed by the brevity and lack of depth to the discussion.  Then I took a step back - both groups of students were making a genuine effort to communicate across the Atlantic about a common topic.  They were both doing the best in their particular circumstances.  And despite the shortcomings of the conversation, they did engage in conversation.  If nothing else, these students benefited from making the effort to communicate and prepare for this conversation, even if the conversation itself was a bit lackluster.  Technology is not perfect,  no matter where in the world you are.  What was important on this day was the intent and the effort to learn from others, and I think that did happen on some level.       

Musical Reflections

There are a couple of songs I've been listening to recently that have inspired me in one way or another, so I thought I would take a few minutes to share some of the lyrics/my thoughts with you all.

The first is a song entitled "Further the Sky" by The Gabe Dixon Band.  The first time I listened to it, I thought it rather pessimistic; but the more I listened, the more I found the lyrics to be honest and truthful.  The chorus goes as follows:

"The higher you reach
     the further the sky,
The more miles you walk
     the longer the road,
The steeper you climb
     the farther you stand to fall,
The stronger you get
     the heavier the load."

At first, the message I heard from these words was "the more you do, the more you have to do," like trying to climb your way out of quicksand.  But as I mulled over these words (this song was stuck in my head for days!), I realized the truth this song spoke to me, especially as it relates to my work here in Liberia.  I came with naive ambition and a "change the world" mindset.  "All my students will pass!"  "A new love of math will emerge among the junior high students at Ricks!"  Yet my frustration grew deep as students failed and seemed unmotivated at times.  The more I do, the more I realize there is to be done.  It's not that my work is creating more work; my work is simply opening my eyes up to the needs that have been present all along that I was unable to see before.  The more I get to know Liberia, the more I understand her problems; the more I understand her problems, the more realistically I can think about the solutions and the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving those.  But through all that, I don't think the message is to stop reaching, walking, climbing, or getting stronger - I think the message is to continue doing those things knowing that you will never be "finished" but instead appreciating the journey that the pursuit of the sky leads you on. 

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I hope I am!  This next song is more straight-forward.  Just as Gabe Dixon points out that we might not ever achieve the goal we're striving for, Carrie Underwood reminds me that any change, even the smallest, is worth making.  In the song "Change" Carrie Underwood says the following:

"Do you tell yourself -
     'You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world?'
Don't listen to them when they say,
     'You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world.'
The smallest thing can make all the difference,
     Love is alive
Don't listen to them when they say,
     'You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world.'"

Some people do think me naive, a fool even, for believing that this world can change.  I do believe that our generation has the opportunity to end extreme poverty (defined as living on less than $1 or $2 a day, depending on which definition you use).  I believe it is possible to actually transform the world so no one has to watch their child die of diarrhea or chicken pox or hunger.  I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but if you don't believe me, read "The End of Poverty" by Jeffrey Sachs and let me know what you think.  The point is, I believe that each and every individual, no matter where they are in the world or in life, can make a difference.  We can all change the world.  And I won't listen to them when they say I'm a fool for believing this is true.

I'm not fooling myself either - I recognize there are tremendous obstacles that lie in the way.  I've experienced throughout this year the challenges that come with trying to change even just a couple hundred lives.  But the effort is worth it.  Even if I have only changed one life this year, and even if that change was only in a small way... well, that's something, and it matters to that one person.  Can you imagine what this world would look like if we ALL did something? 

What I Will Miss

This little series of blogs goes out to Elloa - thanks for the request!  Just goes to show that if you ask - I will respond... and probably in more detail than you were thinking :)  I was going to make a short "Top-10" list for each of these, but by now you all have learned that brevity is not my strong suit.  There are definitely more things I could add to each list, but for now I'll stick with some highlights.  So listed with some explanation, here are some things I am going to miss about Liberia:

People.  The students, fellow teachers, staff, families on campus, friends.  All the people here at Ricks have undoubtedly become our extended family over the past 10 months, and I will miss these people more than anything.  I don't think any further explanation is needed. 

Pineapple.  It's incredible.  Some of the best, most naturally sweet pineapple you'll ever eat.  Some kinds can even be bright green on the outside yet still amazingly sweet and juicy inside.  There's just no compaison.

Saying hi to every person I see.  Literally every person I see on campus says hello.  One of my favorite greetings comes from some little girls and little boys who don't know my real name so instead simply call out "white woman hello!" in a sing-song type of way that makes it sound like all one word.  Other children think my name is "Miss White" which is closer to Miss Wegman but not quite, yet still very cute and funny to me.  Adults aren't without greeting either, whether it's "good morning" or "how's your day?" or simply, "yeah, hello ma."  I know I'll be moving to the south where hospitality abounds, but I somehow doubt it can match the warmth and friendliness of the Ricks community.

Being part of a nation during a critical point in its history.  Liberia is at a crossroads.  Having recently emerged from a civil war and looking toward the future with hope, Liberia is at a point where working for progress and development is crucial.  Roads are slowly being paved, power is progressively being restored, and access to clean water is gradually improving.  There is abundant hope for Liberia.  Yet there's also the sense that it is a collective effort, and that all people in the country - non-citizens included but especially Liberians - are needed for the rebuilding effort.  It's an exciting time in this little nation's history, and I feel privileged to get to be a part of it. 

Liberian food.  I really like it!  Rice with some kind of spicy, oily soup... not exactly something I would have picked out for myself, but really unique and really quite good!  From potato greens to Okra, ground pea to plantains, I will miss this stuff!  I've heard of a couple Liberian restaurants in the States and might even try cooking some myself if the craving strikes and I can rummage up the ingredients.

The slower, more simple pace of my life here.  For the first time ever I have a job that I go to in the morning and finish with in the afternoon or evening.  There are no papers I should be reading or writing or extra things I should be doing at night.  I have free time, and lots of it.  I read books for fun and write in my journal and come up with long blog posts.  I can go a week or two without leaving campus - and therefore without getting in a car.  I can walk everywhere on campus I need to go, and everything I really need is right here.  I'm part of a small community where everyone knows each other, and I love this.

The beach.  The beaches here are gorgeous, and the water seems somehow more wild and majestic than it does in the US.  Perhaps this is because I'm looking out into the Atlantic instead of the Gulf of Mexico... but there are always waves and often big ones.  There are no tacky, neon-colored shops selling seashells and one-size-fits-all t-shirts.  It's just the beauty of the beach and the water, and often some striking black rocks.  When I'm on the beach I often feel I've slipped into Narnia or found some remote island that no one else knows about...  It's a feeling that can't be replaced.

Feeling a sense of purpose in my life each day.  Without question I believe that each day of each person's life has purpose, and that the work I do in graduate school is just as important and done in the same effort to serve God and love others as the work I'm doing here at Ricks.  I firmly believe this.  Yet it's easier to feel and believe that's true here.  Something about being labeled a "missionary" - having someone say, "you're doing God's work" - makes it easier to remember the purpose of what I'm doing each day.  Naturally, it's easier to find purpose and meaning in teaching students than it is in being a student and getting caught up in the reading and writing and research of graduate school.  I will miss the ease with which I remember my purpose here at Ricks, although I will strive to remember it more intentionally in the days and years to come.

What I Will NOT Miss

I love Ricks, and I love being here.  I know this is where I was supposed to be for this year and it has become my home.  With that said, I admit there are a few things that won't be too hard to say goodbye to... so here's the list of things I will NOT miss when I leave! 

The Heat.  After sweating profusely for the better part of 10 months, I'm looking forward to the day when I'm so cold I can't feel my face or toes.  Now I realize I am going back to Florida... in June... not exactly an arctic tundra!  However, rest assured that air conditioners will be cranked!  I am, without question, a person who prefers cold to heat - no contest.  The fall in Nashville will be absolutely glorious.

The bugs.  Everywhere, all the time.  Tickle on your arm?  Bug.  Random itch on your stomach?  Mysterious bug bite.  Hear a buzzing?  Flying insect.  I miss the days when a tickle on my skin meant a stray hair - now it inevitably means a bug is crawling on me.  I have killed more bugs of every variety this year than I have in a lifetime.  You know that statistic that says a certain number - what, 3? - of heinous 8-legged creatures will crawl in your ear while you sleep each year... I don't even want to think about how many I've had this year!!!

Fans.  Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my fan.  I would probably say it is the most valuable object I have here.  But I miss being able to be cool without sitting directly in front of a fan.  Have you ever tried grading a stack of papers whilte sitting in front of a fan set on high?  It's tricky!

Power outages.  On average I would say the power goes out 5 - 10 times in a day... sometimes for 2 seconds, sometimes for 2 hours.  The timing is tough on occasion.  At times I swear someone waits outside our bathroom window listening for me to get in the bath and once I'm in and am wet enough that I can't get out, they give the cue to cut the power.  Not really... but I have taken several baths in the dark.  One night I even shaved my legs and washed my hair and everything when it was so pitch black I literally could not see my hand in front of my face.  I'm sure this skill will come in handy one day...       

Telling students to stop talking.  One of the most frustrating things in teaching has been having to say, probably a thousand times, "please stop talking."  Believe me, I've tried every disciplinary measure I can think of, but nothing seems to do the trick.  My classes have definitely improved throughout the year, but the idea that you don't talk when someone else is talking still hasn't been fully realized.

Weird skin problems.  From the most widespread and persistent case of ringworm in history to some weird problem with my lips that made me look like a botox patient, I've had some random dermatological concerns this year!

What I Do Miss From Home

Of course there are also aspects of home I miss.  Some of these are obvious, some might be a little less so. 

Friends and family.  This seems obvious.

Food.  Lots of it.  My first meal back will probably be Mexican food.  I actually know several Americans who go abroad to various places and agree that this is what they miss... there's just no substitute for endless chips and salsa and enchiladas and burritos and quesadillas... hmm.  Cold Stone Ice Cream (I actually dreamed about it sometime around our second month here).  Mellow Mushroom Pizza - I've had pizza, yes, but nothing like Mellow Mushroom!  Panera... everything there.  Abundance and variety of fresh fruits and vegetables (although there is a good bit here, it's often different kinds than I'm used to).  Cereal.  Fresh orange juice!!  Smoothies.  Starbucks (sadly, yes - I admit it).  Chik-Fil-A.  Man, now I'm hungry.   

Driving.  Although we've driven a couple times here, it's different... and we're driving 15 passenger vans!  I miss my Jeep - although sadly it is mine no more... so I will be looking for something new to drive once I am home! 

High Speed Internet.  Broadband has not made it to Liberia yet.  Some connections are faster than others, but none are really sufficient for watching videos or uploading pictures to Facebook unless you have a lot of time to spare. 

The basics you would expect: showers, air conditioning, constant power, TV (the Office!), my bed, etc.

My clothes.  I mainly bought clothes to bring here - long dresses I thought would be cool and modest.  Most of my clothes were not practical to bring, so they were left behind.  On the bright side, I will feel like I have an entirely new wardrobe when I get home!

Makeup.  Never thought this would happen, but I miss it.  It's easier to feel pretty and feminine with it - things I haven't felt much in the last year!  I'm OK with that... but I suppose that's another thing I miss - getting dressed up and feeling pretty.

Unlimited phone usage.  Pay by the minute makes you very aware of how long each phone conversation lasts and how much it costs.  I certainly took having a phone plan that lets me talk and text all I want for granted - I will be more grateful now! 

Going to the gym.  Although I have recently been running more and trying to do some basic exercises (crunches, push ups, etc.), I miss spending an hour at the gym working really hard and leaving feeling totally spent.  I miss my workout classes, especially spinning.  And free weights... canned foods just aren't heavy enough!

The Day-to-Day

When I first got to Liberia, I was updating my blog 3 or 4 times a week.  Everything that was happening was part of a new and exciting adventure.  As my postings have slowed over the last few weeks, I've realized it is because so much of what was once completely new is now simply routine, normal even.  With this in mind, I've tried to remind myself of the questions I had before arriving in Liberia so I can try to answer those and give you all more of a glimpse of what life here is like.  Really, I think most of my questions revolved around what my day-to-day life would be like.  So, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into "a day in the life of Holly" here in Liberia.  We'll go with a school day because those are most routine.

I usually get up sometime around 7am, have a quick breakfast (cold Pop Tart and a little juice), throw on some clothes and head to school.  The school day starts at 7:30 AM with the students lined up at the flag pole to say the pledge of allegiance, sing the school ode, and sing the national anthem.  After that they head in to the chapel to sing a couple hymns (or sometimes more contemporary songs from a kids CD) and have morning devotion - about 5 minutes led by one faculty member (I do it about 2 weeks each semester).  After that, things in the chapel can last anywhere from 5 minutes to another hour depending on how many announcements, speeches (seniors all have to give a speech to graduate), and random other things are happening on a given morning.  First period is supposed to start at 8:15 but often chapel cuts in to this time; the school day is not adjusted, I just lose time with whatever class is first, which can be tricky! 

After chapel (assuming we're out by 8:15), I have four 40-minute periods.  Although each period is 40 minutes, there's no time between periods to change classes, so by the time I pack up my things, hurry to my next class, unpack my things and take roll, I'm usually down to about 35 minutes in a given class.  After the first 4 periods we have recess for 45 minutes.  During that time I am always in the library hoping my students will come ask me questions; they don't nearly as often as they need to, but sometimes they do come and it always makes the sitting there worth it!  After recess I have anywhere from 0 - 3 more periods to teach, so I finish as early as 11:40 (Thursdays) and as late as 1:40 (Mondays and Tuesdays). 

Once school is over (on Monday, Wednesday, Friday) I head home and sometimes eat lunch (a Lebanese wrap with PB&J and some Pringles) and change for basketball practice which goes from 2 - 3:15ish.  During afternoon basketball practices I fulfill the role of assistant coach more than anything, just making sure the team stays on task and helping with some drills.  With my limited basketball knowledge and experience, I definitely don't take the lead here!  After practice I sometimes eat in the dining hall (rice with some kind of "soup"), sometimes go home for a little bit, and sometimes just hang out up at the school.  Then in the evening at 5:30 (when the students finish with study hall), I lead conditioning/jogging practice with the basketball team.  We've worked up to about 15 minutes of running, with a break in the middle to do some strengthening exercises.  I love this as it brings back fond memories of running cross country in high school and teaching my fitness classes at Wake.  Over the last month or so I've started to add my own running on at the beginning or end of practice... I'm working my way up, adding a minute to my runs each day - I'm up to 35 minutes now (the hardest 30-something minute runs of my life in this heat!). 

After this I definitely need a shower!  And by shower, I mean I stand in a pretty normal looking bathtub that has a bucket of cold water in it.  Showering is done by pouring a big cup of water over me.  The cold water might sound harsh, but it's almost always quite welcome to help me cool down from a hot day!  Yes, we do have running water - but the pressure is not sufficient for an actual shower.  Same with the toilet - we have an actual toilet, just not enough pressure to flush it, so we just pour cups of water into it to "flush."  We're lucky that we usually don't have to walk to a well and haul water to our house as most of our neighbors do.

At night Ann Elizabeth and I have dinner together (we have 3 mainstays: macaroni and cheese with canned green beans; instant mashed potatoes with canned pork & beans and canned corn; and noodles with tomato sauce).  After dinner I usually spend a little time preparing for school the next day (grading or writing plans) and writing in my journal (something I make myself do every night!).  If I finish early enough, I usually watch a DVD on my laptop (we can buy movies in town - about 20 movies on one disc for around US $2.50 - obviously illegal but not really an issue here!).  With that, Ann Elizabeth and I fall asleep on our twin beds in our shared room with little fans pointed right at us all night so we're cool enough to get under the sheets.

That is pretty much my standard day here at Ricks.  Everyone always seems to think my life here is so exciting and exotic, but the things that happen day to day are really quite normal and routine, exceptional only because they happen to be taking place on a continent different from the one where I usually find myself.  Don't get me wrong - I think my life is exciting... but I think life is always exciting, no matter where it's taking place!

If there are other questions you all have been wondering about, please let me know and I'll do my best to answer.  Also, check out some pictures I just uploaded to Picasa!   

The In-Between

I officially have less than 2 months left here in Liberia at Ricks Institute.  It's hard to believe how quickly the last 8 months have gone by.  It feels like just yesterday I was home in FL trying to figure out what I needed to pack and how to make it all fit in my two suitcases.  Yet here I am, mid-April, done with 5 of 6 marking periods for the school year.

As my time in Liberia is winding down, I find myself facing a familiar dilemma I like to call "the in-between."  This problem is one I have faced many times in the past and know I will face many more times in the future.  Basically, the dilemma is that I am in one place that I love with people that I love doing something that I love, but I'm also preparing and looking forward to being in a new place, meeting new people, and doing new things that are all tremendously exciting in a completely different way.

Liberia has become a new home to me.  Many of the friends I've made here joke that Ann Elizabeth and I are real Liberian women; there are times we know directions to a place that others don't, we've become fairly proficient in understanding and occasionally even speaking Liberian English, and we notice the subtle changes in weather unique to a tropical climate.  I've heard several people who have spent time in Liberia talk about "catching the bug"; once you come to Liberia, something about it stays with you and changes you and holds your heart so you can never forget this place or fully leave it.  Thinking about saying goodbye is tough, and I know I will be incredibly sad to leave this place and especially the people I've come to know here in LIB.

But, I've also got some pretty exciting stuff on the not-too-distant horizon.  My sister will be getting married two weeks after I return home, I'm working for Passport St. Louis for one week trying out a new kind of camp, I get to spend time with my family at the beach, I'm hoping to make a trip up to Winston-Salem, I'll go to a retreat for all Student.Go and Passport workers in Birmingham... and then on top of that I get to move to a new city, make all new friends, and begin the next 4-5 years of my life as a PhD student (for those who didn't see the Facebook post, I'm going to Vanderbilt in Nashville, TN!).  I've heard nothing but great things about the program I will be in, Vanderbilt, and Nashville as a whole.  This is something I've been working towards and planning for over several years, so the fact that it is now about 4 months away is so exciting!

I think this feeling of being between things - still clinging to one place while looking forward to moving on to the next - can be summed up by a question people have been asking me a lot lately; "So, Holly, how does it feel to be going home in less than 2 months?"  My answer reflects "the in-between"; "I'm equal parts sad and excited.  Sad to leave Liberia, excited to be going home."  In the meantime, I'm doing my best to embrace the present and to take in every moment of these last two months in Liberia.  I know I will be sitting Stateside in no time, so I'm trying not to wish a way a single moment of what remains of my Liberian adventure.  A lot can happen in two months, and I'm excited to see what these last 2 will bring! 

Frustration

Ever since I found out I would be living in Liberia for a year, I find myself often engaging in conversations with other people who have spent time in Africa.  Throughout these conversations I have learned a lot about the differences between our experiences and various countries in Africa.  Despite the many differences though, I have noticed a common thread running throughout each person's "Africa-experience" narrative.  Almost everyone I have talked to who has spent significant time in Africa agrees that the experience was simultaneously one of the most rewarding and one of the most frustrating experiences they have ever had.  I agree completely. 

The joys and rewards of living in Liberia are undoubtedly many.  I feel like I blog about these "ups" often, and I hope you agree!  There have been nights when I lay in bed just feeling joyfully content, for no reason in particular.  Some mornings I wake up feeling like something is right in life, and walk to school in awe of the places and people I have come to know over the past 8 months.  These are sweet moments, and thankfully they have not been rare. 

Also not so rare, however, have been moments of enormous frustration; moments when I feel like nothing I do matters for anything, that no one is listening or learning, that things will never change, and that I should just walk away.  This little voice of pessimism is one that I normally do not hear.  Those who know me well know that, despite some whining and occasional self-pity, I'm generally an overwhelmingly positive, optimistic, "the glass is more than half full" kind of person.  To experience moments of frustration as deep as I have in the last 8 months has been a challenge for me in and of itself. 

What brings about such great frustration?  I have a great deal of time trying to answer this question.  Why do I get so mad?  What is it that bothers me so greatly?  I think I have finally come up with an answer; it's facing problems bigger than I've ever faced, and knowing I can not solve them on my own. 

When I'm angry that everyone in 7th grade scored below a 60% on their first decimals quiz, it's easy for me to think that I'm doing something wrong.  Even as one who is not a teacher by trade, I know that a basic rule of teaching states that if more than half of your class is failing, the teacher is not doing a good job.  But how can this be, when 6 of 10 questions come directly from 3 pages in the book or notes repeatedly given in class?  It turns out that my students never study for math.  Although it's partly a result of lack of individual motivation, it's also a result of culture - the students have not typically been expected to go home and read their math text book... they don't normally even have a text book! 

Or time.  Oh man, time.  I know the States has a unique obsession with time not shared by every country, but Liberian time is something else!  For example, I wrote a few entries back about the Miss Ricks Pageant.  The night of the pageant the program was supposed to start by 7:00pm (they even printed 6:45 on the tickets) so it could end by 11pm at the latest (so the students wouldn't be too tired for school the next day).  When I was up at the building at 7:30pm only 1 contestant was present and about 5 spectators.  I found out after the show that it actually started at 9:00pm and ended at 12:45am.  Due to that, and some other organizational issues with the pageant, I was too frustrated by it all to even stay and watch the show.  And it was tempting to blame people - individuals - for the delay.  But the reality is that the Liberian culture is not time-conscious.  Most people do not even have a clock or a watch... the only clock in the whole school is in the front of the building.  So the frustration is not with one person who dropped the ball - it's with a culture that functions differently than I am used to. 

These are just a few small examples - and these not even explained as thoroughly as needed to really elucidate the source of my frustration.  Feeling this much frustration is not always fun - it is often draining and defeating.  Yet I think it's important to talk about this frustration.  If my frustration really does result from being confronted with problems bigger than myself, then it's essential that I talk about these problems.  If the effects and relentless cycle of extreme poverty frustrate me, then great - that's a start.  But frustration is not enough.  Frustration must turn to empowerment, empowerment to action, and action to a solution.  I continue to pray daily for patience to understand and face my frustrations and do what I can about them, but also for strength not to turn away from frustration but to be motivated by it to do something more.       

More to Come Soon!

I know my posting has been sporadic... but I'm not done with this blog, I promise!  More to come as soon as the internet is back regularly at Ricks.  Thanks for sticking with me!

I'll Take That As A Compliment

Just a couple funny anecdotes I thought I would share.

A few weeks ago we had the opportunity to meet with the American Ambassador to Liberia, Linda Thomas-Greenfield.  It was really interesting to here her talk about Liberia, the country's future and path to development, and partnership with the States.  She was both impressive and personable - not at all intimidating!  After about a 20 minute meeting as we were leaving, Olu mentioned to her that I am getting ready to begin my PhD and that I just graduated with my Master's degree.  She laughed and said, "Master's?!  You barely look like you could have graduated high school!"  I thought I finally looked at least 20 years old, but according to the US Ambassador I'm apparently still a teenage look alike.  I had a good laugh after that one!

My other favorite "compliment" often comes from my Liberian friends.  Before the personal story, a brief cultural note... In Liberia, it's not really offensive to describe someone as fat.  When describing someone, if they are even a little bigger, people have no qualms about saying "she's fat."  It's like if I said "she has short hair" or "she's tall."  It's really just a description, and not seen as a derisive term.  In fact, it is often intended as a compliment... being fat means you're eating well, which is a good thing. 

Alright, back to the anecdote.  Coming to Liberia everyone speculated about how skinny I would be when I returned home and how much weight I would lose.  So, you can imagine my frustration when all my clothes began fitting much tighter after a couple months here.  Over Christmas break I began to really notice my new "insulation" so I made a conscious effort to eat better and exercise more.  At the end of Christmas break when I returned to school I was greeted by a compliment; "Oh, you're looking good."  "Thanks!" I replied.  "I can tell you ate plenty over the break."  "Thanks..." I said once again, this time in a slightly more dejected tone.  My favorite example of this kind of "compliment" was when one of the girls on the basketball team came up to me, grabbed the fat on my arm, and said, "you're getting big!" 

While these kinds of "compliments" would be pretty awful if received in the States, I have tried to take them in stride.  It's just an observation!  I love that, in Liberian culture, having a bigger body type is not a bad thing.  Having some meat on your bones isn't a source of shame... it's just an attribute.  Despite my initial dejection at receiving these kinds of compliments from my Liberian friends, I tried not to let on that I saw this fact as less than ideal.  The States have shared enough of their culture - both good and bad things - already... I won't rush in the need to spread the obsession with the "perfect" body type. 

Yes, this is a random post... but I find these stories funny and hope you will too! 

What's Been Happening at Ricks

So much has been happening at Ricks over the last few weeks!  Even though our 5th marking period has been filled with lots of holidays and days off from school, there has still been a lot going on. 

A quick note: our internet at the school is down for the moment due to a broken router... we're working on getting a new one ASAP, but in the meantime my posts might be a little scarce! 

I'll start with the biggest news first: the Ricks Olympics!!  The Ricks Olympics used to be a grand tradition of Ricks Institute.  I'm not sure exactly when it began, but I know the last year it happened was back in 1989 when the civil war started.  Before the war, the Ricks Olympics was known throughout Liberia.  Schools would come from all over the country to participate in the events.  To win the Ricks Olympics was a big deal for any sports teams, and the Dragons worked hard to keep as many victories at home as they could.

The efforts to bring the Olympics back this year were not just about giving schools a chance to play sports - the Olympics represent the rebuilding that's happening in Liberia.  The Olympics are intended not to breed competitiveness (although some healthy competition is certainly a part of it!) but to foster relationships and youth development.  This year the Olympics brought together 15 schools representing, I believe, at least 6 of the 15 counties in Liberia.  At the height of the games on Friday (games started Friday, were single elimination, and ended Saturday), I would say there were probably at least 1,000 people - both participants and spectators - on campus for the event.  The Olympics received several major sponsorships: Lonestar Cell, a major cell phone company in Liberia, invested about $15,000 in the campus doing renovations of the courts, fields, and facilities in exchange for painting their logo in a few places... not a bad deal!; Coca-Cola had the exclusive right to sell beverages on campus, and all proceeds from their sales were donated to Ricks; LBDI, one of the biggest banks in Liberia; and others I'm sure I'm forgetting! 

Overall, I think the Olympics were a definite success.  There weren't any major disputes over the outcomes of games (we hired officials from various organizations around Liberia), the students all seemed to get along (even all the ones crammed in the dorms with Ricks students!), and the teams seemed to have fun competing.  The games gave the students a chance to meet new friends from lots of different counties and learn a little bit more about life in the various schools in Liberia.  

Oh - I guess I should talk about how all the teams did!  The female kickball team and the male soccer team both won 1 game and lost their second.  They all played well though, and at least won 1 game at home!  The male basketball team finally played to their potential and won the Olympic plaque for male basketball!  They were so excited, as were all the spectators!  The girls basketball team had one game Friday and one game Saturday.  We played fairly sloppy on Friday, but pulled together enough to win the game... the end was definitely better than the beginning!  On Saturday, the Ricks kickball game was right before the basketball game, and 3 of our starting players are on the kickball team.  So, by the time they finished that game, they barely had enough time to change uniforms before hitting the court for our game.  Needless to say, they were rather exhausted.  That, in addition to lots of missed layups and giving up a little bit at the end, the Lady Dragons suffered their first lost of the year on Saturday.  However, the team we played, Nathaniel Gibson, was an excellent team and really did outplay us on the court.  We're just hoping we can work hard and play them again before we leave!

In other Ricks news, this week also brought about the Miss Ricks Pageant.  There were 6 contestants who have been working for months to prepare for the show.  There was a kickoff the weekend of the Olympics I went to, and the girls all looked great and had obviously put a lot of work into preparing for the pageant.  However, the night of the show was at the height of a week that had been long and frustrating for me for many reasons.  When the show was 2 hours late to start, it conflicted with a phone call I had scheduled with a student at a graduate school, and I just couldn't hang around waiting for the show to start... so sadly, I did not see the pageant.  I did, however, hear rave reviews the next day... it's clear the contestants and organizers put a lot of work in to the show!  All in all, it was another major event at Ricks - one of two within the same week! - that showed the progress Ricks is making and the continued growth and rebuilding of the school and youth development in Liberia.

The excitement is calming down a bit over the next 2 weeks; we have today and Monday off for Easter, next Friday off for Liberian Fasting and Prayer Day, and then the following week we have our 5th period tests.  It's amazing how quickly all of this is passing by... for now I'm just trying to make the most of every day I have left here in LIB!   

What's Today? It's a Holi-Day!

The Liberian Academic Calendar is made up of 6 marking periods (3 per semester).  Typically, a marking period consists of 5 weeks of instruction followed by 1 week of testing.  Our 3rd marking period was unusually short - 3 weeks of instruction followed by 1 week of testing; but our 5th and 6th marking periods are unusually long - 6 weeks of instruction followed by 1 week of testing.  When AE and I first noticed these extended periods, we thought for sure they would go by much slower than the first semester.  However, what we have quickly realized is that we need the extra week in the next two marking periods in order to get in the same amount of instruction we would have in a typical period!

When we were beginning the 2nd semester, we heard lots of people talk about the number of holidays we would have.  We figured there would be a few, but didn't think there would be too many - after all, who doesn't love a day off school to sleep late and relax?  Now, I have to admit, I am amazed by the number of holidays we have, especially this period!  Out of 6 weeks of instruction, we only have one 5-day week.  Let me give you the rundown:

Week 1: Full week - phew!
Week 2: No school Wednesday - Liberian Decoration Day
Week 3: No school Monday - JJ Roberts' (the first president of Liberia) birthday
Week 4: No school Friday - Ricks Olympics (more details on that soon to come!)
Week 5: No school Friday - Good Friday
Week 6: No school Monday - Easter Break; No school Friday - Liberian Fasting and Prayer Day

That's a lot of holidays!  In 4th period we got a day of for Liberian Armed Forces Day, and in May we'll get a day off for National Unification Day.  (For a complete list of Liberia's National Holidays, check out this website: http://www.qppstudio.net/publicholidays2010/liberia.htm)  The amazing thing is, I've been told that the current number of holidays is greatly reduced compared to the amount of holidays in Liberia at different points during the war.  Apparently government officials would want a day off, so they would declare a national holiday - great idea for people with money and the luxury of taking a day off, terrible idea for those who need to earn what they can each day to support their family.  Once the country stabilized, so did the number of holidays.  I'm trying to learn what I can about each holiday as it happens, but I find that many are like holidays in the US: celebrated for their intended meaning by a few, enjoyed as a day off by all (how many of us really do something special and intentional on Memorial Day?).

The blitz of holidays during 5th period can be a little tricky, especially for my classes that only meet Monday, Wednesday and Friday!  Despite the complications that the days off can cause, I'm trying to enjoy the down time and make good use of it - you know, doing things like updating my blog :)

Hope you all are doing well.  Are there things I still haven't talked about that you want to know?  If so, tell me! 

Sometimes, It Just Hits You

I live in a third world country.  Liberia is among the poorest nations in the world.  I've heard statistics indicating that Liberia has an unemployment rate somewhere around 80 - 85% and estimates that roughly 70% of the population lives on less than $1 a day.  In my daily life, I interact with these "dollar a day" people.  They are not marked by any obvious physical indicators; most often they are people making an average wage (by Liberian standards - perhaps $60 - $100 per month) who are trying to support so many people - usually children - that their pay ends up needing to stretch farther than it can.  They are my students, members of my community, and sometimes my friends.  Poverty is a clear reality in Liberia.

Despite the staggering statistics and overwhelming poverty that was impossible to ignore when I first arrived in Liberia, I have found myself growing accustomed to this reality.  Although I still notice the tin roofs over dirt floor homes, the children running around in mismatched flip-flops and tattered clothing, and the little boys trying to find a meal from the leftovers at the dining hall each day, I have found that the poverty takes its emotional toll on me less the longer I am here.  I want to believe that I'm not becoming hardened to this reality but instead adapting to my present circumstances. 

Despite my overall diminished emotional response to the poverty around me, I still have moments when the sobering reality of it catches me off guard.  I experienced one of these moments recently when we were in Monrovia at the Sports Commission for one of our basketball games.  After our game we were sitting in the bleachers leisurely enjoying watching the boys team play.  There are always vendors at the game selling soft drinks and biscuits (cookies/crackers), plantain chips, ice cream, etc.  But on this day I really noticed who some of these "vendors" were - children.  A little girl and a little boy, neither older than 10 years, working for hours in the oppressive heat selling bags of water for 5LD (LD = Liberian Dollar; 5LD is approximately 15 cents US).  The little girl grabbed my attention and I couldn't stop watching her.  Her clothes were ill-fitting; a halter top clearly meant for someone twice her age and slippers (flip-flops) worn thin.  She worked constantly and quietly.  Every now and then I would see her and the little boy stop to sit on the bleachers and watch the game.  I could see a certain sadness in their eyes, and I wanted for them the recreation and freedom to play that kids need.  I felt so fortunate that the girls at Ricks are able to play basketball - to PLAY.  But for these children, their afternoons are not spent on swing-sets or playing hide and seek; their afternoons are spent working, selling bags of waters for pennies to help out their families.

I think this is one of the most striking things about poverty - how it steals away the childhood of so many.  It takes away the right kids have to play and forces them into tasks that will enable them to survive - doing anything they can to help their families earn enough money to get survive.  One of the first things I heard about Liberia came from my friend, James Blay.  As our camp pastor at Passport - Wingate in 2008, he told a story of children who had to sit on the side of the road, breaking apart rocks with small hammers to create materials for building.  After hearing this story I remember praying for these children, hearing God call me to be with them, and committing to God and these children that I was coming.  I didn't know when or how, but I knew I needed to be in Liberia.  Now I'm here, and although the laws, thankfully, have outlawed this particular rock-breaking labor for children, it has not prevented children from engaging in the kinds of labor we would never allow our children to do in the States.  Now that I'm here, what am I doing for these children?  I felt God calling me to these children, but sitting and watching this little girl at the Sports Commission, I felt helpless.  I know I'm teaching at a school, and that is an important step.  But what can we, as humans filled with compassion, especially for children, do to help?  I challenge you to explore this question with me.     

Monrovia: An International Hotspot

OK, I admit - Monrovia isn't quite up there with the ranks of NYC or Brussels as an international destination.  However, when you find yourself in Monrovia, you quickly realize you are not just amongst Liberians; Monrovia is actually home to many ex-pats who find themselves in Liberia for numerous and varied reasons.  The last couple weekends I've been reminded of this, so I thought I would share some of my experiences of the international atmosphere in in Liberia. 

When we come in to Monrovia to visit our friends and stay the weekend, I often feel like I have briefly stepped back into the US and American life.  I suddenly find myself surrounded by people who talk with southern accents, lament the absence of Chik-Fil-a, tell jokes that take advantage of our shared cultural knowledge and understanding of subtleties like sarcasm, and food that can't be classified as anything but southern home-cooking.  It's a funny experience because it's comforting and familiar, yet at the same time is a little odd to encounter in Liberia.  These are some of my American international moments - I think they both help me keep my sanity and help me embrace and appreciate Liberia knowing I'll be back to full immersion in American life soon enough!

American culture is definitely not the only one we experience in Liberia.  Last weekend we had the opportunity to go to a primarily Lebanese party.  A friend in town was close with several of the people hosting this party (a goodbye party for a couple preparing to leave), so we were invited by extension.  When we first arrived at the party we experienced that initial awkwardness that comes with going to a party where you don't know anyone except the people you arrived with.  After a few minutes however, we quickly started making friends.  There is a strong Lebanese presence here in Liberia, and many of the more prominent businesses, hotels, restaurants, etc., are Lebanese owned.  So, we would meet someone and ask what they do, and the response would often be, "oh, we own the ___."  But there was no arrogance or elitism in these statements, just matter-of-fact information.  After some time a little dance circle formed (you know, everyone in a circle, one or two people pulled in the middle at a time).  We thought for sure the people there didn't know us well enough to pull us in - we were wrong, and had lots of fun dancing with our new friends.  Later, people began to throw one another in the pool with all their clothes on - luckily they didn't know us quite well enough to do that ;)  Throughout the evening we met lots of new friends, including the Lebanese ambassador to Liberia and the head of Consular Services at the American Embassy.  It was a fun party filled with laughter and fun!

This weekend our American friends were having a party at their apartment compound as an early celebration for 2 people's birthdays.  All of the people working for their company were invited in addition to an assortment of other friends.  Throughout the evening we met people from the US, Liberia, Turkey, Nigeria, Algeria, the Philippines, and Ireland.  It was quite the party too - food from lots of different cultures (pizza, zatar, Texas caviar, ice cream, chicken wings, hummus, and a WHOLE pig) and a live band.  The Liberian band did covers of everything from Michael Jackson to Garth Brooks to popular Liberian music.  Everyone just danced and ate and had a great time.

I came to Liberia expecting to experience one new culture - the Liberian culture.  This is definitely the culture I have experienced most thoroughly, and I am so grateful for that.  At the same time, I am grateful for the glimpses of other cultures I have been afforded through my time here in Liberia and the friendships I have been able to form with people from so many different places.  I think we have much to learn from one another, especially those coming from ways of life different than our own, and I am thankful to be learning a little more each day.   

Where I've Been

This blog title might be deceiving - it sounds like my post will be more philosophical and profound than it really will be... talking abstractly about the journey I've been on.  Sorry, that's not what it's about!

I know my posts have been scarce lately - sorry to those who keep looking for updates!  Things have been busier than I thought they would be.  Things at school really picked up for a few days - between teaching, grading, basketball (practice and conditioning), writing workshop, and other little things that come along, I have actually felt very busy with school lately.

But the most time consuming project has been the work I'm still doing for PhD program applications.  Although the applications were finished and submitted in December, the process requires continual effort even after the applications have been sent.  Starting in January and continuing to this day I have been having phone interviews with professors and students at a number of schools.  At the height of it all, I was having 1-2 interviews on the phone each day.  That may not sound like much, but when it's in the midst of everything else, when it required switching my brain quickly from Liberia to one PhD program to another PhD program, it became really draining.  Most of my online time has been spent responding to emails, reading about programs and professors and students and cities, etc.

The good news, however, is that all of the work has not been in vain!  I have heard back from all but one school, and am waiting on a final decision from one other.  Here's the quick rundown for those interested:
UVA: We talked and decided we were not the best fit for each other - aka, did not get an offer.
Georgetown: The only formal rejection to date.
Penn State University: Accepted, but I have officially declined that offer
Michigan State University: Accepted
Vanderbilt: Accepted
NC State: Accepted
NYU: Accepted
University of Illinois - Chicago: Interviewed, should hear a decision this week or the next.
University of Michigan: No word, but that's OK... I like my other offers :)

So now I'm coming down to decision-making time, which might prove to be the toughest part of this whole process yet.  I'm not complaining - having to decide between all the amazing schools is a wonderful dilemma to have... but it's the next 4-5 years of my life, so I want to end up in the right place.  The good news is, I don't think there's a wrong place, and no matter where I go I'll have moments when I'll wonder what my life would be like if I went somewhere else.  It's crazy and a little stressful and so exciting all at once - I'll update again when I make a final decision.

We are down to just a little over 3 months left here in Liberia (we're pretty sure we're leaving June 11th), so I will try to be more faithful in posting here.  In the meantime, I'm trying not to spend too much time thinking about next fall and concentrate my attention as much as I can on the amazing place I'm already in and enjoying every moment of life in the LIB! 

    

It's Gonna Be a Hot One

One of the great things about living in one place for (almost) a year is that you get to experience that place in every season - not just a week or a few months out of a year.  For example, I lived in the Netherlands one year from August to December.  I got to experience a touch of summer, the fullness of fall, and even flirted briefly with winter.  I was able to experience a decent sampling, but ultimately I totally missed the spring, which I hear is the best time to be in the Netherlands (think fields of tulips).

Coming to Liberia, I knew that I could expect warm weather year round, but I was anxious to see how that played out and all the subtleties and fluctuations of Liberian weather.  I grew up in Florida, a tropical weather locale, so I imagined it would be much the same.  Mostly warm and humid, but slight changes and occasional spurts of something a little different. 

Today I am here to report that Liberia truly does have 2 seasons, at best.  Largely referred to as Rainy season and Dry season, I have come to think of them as two parts of the same season: "wet and hot" and "no rain and hot".  Rainy season begins sometime in the spring... I have heard estimates as early as March and as late as July, and lasts throughout the summer until October or November.  During the rainy season the rain is almost constant.  There are reprieves now and then, but to see the sun is rare and to have a whole day without rain is even more unlikely.  I expected the rainy season to be somewhat cool, but after experiencing it I would describe it as "less hot."  The most striking thing about the Rainy season is the humidity... it is unreal!!  Mold grows on walls in a matter of days, and even a container of Morton salt left on the counter quickly disintegrated due to moisture. 

Once the rain clouds move out, the sun moves in and dry season has arrived.  Dry season is less humid, although still muggy.  The sun is strong and it feels like my skin is burning after about 1 minute standing outside without sunscreen; after all, Liberia is only about 6 degrees off the equator.  Dry season is very, very dry - it literally does not rain for the entirety of dry season, and it is very strange if even a few drops happen to fall.  Dry season begins when rainy season ends - sometime around November, and goes until the rains come back.  I hear that March is the hottest, so I'm really not too excited about March.

Despite my naturally warm-natured disposition (I get hot too easily) and the constant heat which leads to constant sweating, I do love Liberia... but that doesn't mean I wouldn't change her climate a little if I could.  On days when I'm sitting on a beautiful beach in January looking out over the crystal clear water and admiring the bold black rocks along the shore, I really can't complain.  That said, if some of you in the South want to ship some of your snow over here, I'm sure we could all benefit from an averaging of our extreme temperatures!       

I'm Still Here!

Hello faithful readers.  Sorry I have not been a faithful blogger.  After Passport ended, things seem to have stayed really busy and I just haven't made the time to write in a while.  Not to say there's nothing to write about - I have lots of ideas, it's just a matter of getting them out of my head and onto this blog!

In the meantime, I thought I would post a quick update.  We are now wrapping up the third week of fourth period, which is hard to believe.  Two more weeks and then we are testing once again!  Classes are going pretty well, and I'm hoping to continue to see improvement in my students throughout this semester.  More than anything, I hope to see increased critical thinking.  I just want my students to think about what they're doing, not just to do things because someone else said to do so. 

Last week (Jan 25 - 30) was spent in Ghana, another West African country about 2 countries east of Liberia.  Ghana has not had the setbacks caused by civil war that Liberia has experienced, so Ghana is more developed than Liberia.  We (Ann Elizabeth, Ottolee Menjay and me) spent the week in the capital city of Accra, which is actually really really big!  We flew in at night and AE and I were amazed by how far the lights stretched out over the land - as far as we could see!  Sadly, on the way to the airport to leave for Ghana I started feeling bad and by the time I went to bed the first night felt awful.  Turns out I had Malaria, which sounds very scary and can be if not treated, but is not too bad when you are quickly treated.  So I went to the doctor and was tested and treated the next day, but much to my frustration, I never did feel 100% while in Ghana, resulting in a less adventuresome spirit and far fewer "I want to see and experience everything" activities.  On the bright side, it could have been much worse and I was able to see a good bit of the city.  In places it looks much like Liberia, but in other places in looks more like an American or European city.  There are multi-lane, wide, nicely paved streets and an advanced system of traffic lights, roundabouts, highways, etc.  We even got to go to a mall one day, do some shopping, and see a movie in an actual movie theater!! 

The other downside of the trip to Ghana was that at the end of it, Ann Elizabeth had to go back to the States for a few weeks.  While in Ghana she was able to see a doctor about a small problem she noticed, and the doctor recommended she go back to the States to see another doctor and possibly have a small procedure.  So AE is now back in FL/AL and getting things taken care of as quickly as possible.  She is doing fine, and the problem is not an immediate danger - just something that needed to be taken care of.  She should be back here in Liberia by Feb. 22nd at the latest, but perhaps even sooner if possible. 

In the meantime, I am back at Ricks and finally getting back in to the routine of teaching, basketball, and everything else that goes on here.  We had a basketball game yesterday which we won - due to forfeit, but we won all the same ;)  There was a group here from First Baptist Columbus, GA from Jan. 25 - Feb. 3, so I was able to spend a little bit of time getting to know them.  One member of the team is actually staying for 2 additional weeks, so I think we will help to keep each other company while we are each living on our own!  Currently I am very grateful it is Friday and am looking forward to a weekend of rest and fun as I spend a couple days in town with friends. 

I will try to update more - thank you all for sticking with me through this journey!

I Give In - I'll be a Tourist for One Day

It had always been my personal "travel philosophy" to try to see everything I can in a new place without ever feeling like an actual tourist.  Of course, in order to see all the sites of any location, I'm sometimes required to suspend my belief that sight seeing is not necessarily equivalent with tourism.  This is exactly what I did here in Liberia last Saturday as I loaded up in a 12 passenger van, Swiss Army side purse on, camera and extra batteries in tact.  Thus, along with Ann Elizabeth and the 4 guys here from the States for Passport, we became the Ricks tour-bus for the day.

We started off the journey at the site of the Hotel Africa.  Hotel Africa was built for the 1979 OAU (Organization for African Unity) Conference and was the first 5 star hotel in Africa.  It was probably 8 stories tall, located right on the beach with a view looking toward the Freeport and central Monrovia, and even a pool in the shape of Africa.  Sadly, the hotel was completely destroyed during the war, I believe sometime in the 1990s.  We had seen this hotel from a distance when we first arrived in Liberia but had not had the chance to see it up close until this weekend.  We were actually able to walk around inside the hollow shell of a building.  It was so strange to be in this building and see remnants of what it once was - a shard of beautiful tile on the floor; the bare bones of a once gourmet kitchen; the now algae ridden water in the old pool; statues of elephants both missing trunks.  As I made my way carefully through this seemingly alternate reality, I think I was suddenly very aware of the reality of war and the extent of this particular war's destruction and decimation of the land.  My heart felt heavy in my chest, and I just kept asking myself, "God, how can we do this to one another?"

From Hotel Africa we drove to the nearby Unity Conference Center, once home to Liberia's House of Representatives.  The conference center is now only used on a limited basis, and is still in tact.  The biggest problem the conference center experienced was looting.  Luckily, this structure was not hit by the rockets and missiles that took out Hotel Africa.  We were lucky enough to get a short tour inside the Conference Center where I was most impressed with the artwork hanging on the wall - see my pictures to see it for yourself!

After hotel Africa we took a break to grab lunch at a Barbecue place in town - really good!! - and then ice cream.  We drove past Liberia's capital hill, the executive mansion (comparable to USA's White House), Court House, etc., and then made our way up to the highest point in Liberia and home to another formerly great hotel in Liberia, Ducor International.  Ducor opened sometime in the mid-50s and was also quite a beautiful hotel in its heyday.  I think the highlight for me of Ducor was the view.  Standing on the patio area on the second floor, we could see out over the ocean, parts of Monrovia (all of Bushrod Island), the Freeport, even back toward Hotel Africa (where we earlier stood looking toward Ducor!).  It was an incredible view, and so interesting to be able to look out over Monrovia from an aerial vantage point.  We also had the pleasure of meeting a man named Moses there who began working for Ducor in 1976 and worked his way up to head of security before the hotel shut down.  Moses was even able to show us a brochure preserved from sometime in the 80s, I believe, showing all the amenities Ducor once offered.  Although not in ruins they way hotel Africa was, Ducor was still a reminder than no structure in Monrovia was untouched by the war - even the seemingly impenetrable.  Please see my pictures - they describe way better than I can!

After Ducor we went into town and were uber-tourists: we went to an area by the American Embassy where they sell lots of souvenirs, crafts, etc., and bought some fun keepsakes.  After that we walked around Benson Street, the place to go for clothes, fabric, etc.  We even had time to visit Providence Baptist Church, the church founded by the freed slaves who landed in Liberia in 1822.  Parts of the sanctuary we visited - the walls, the pulpit, the bench behind the pulpit - have been there since the church's founding in the 1820s.  We were lucky enough to catch one of the church's staff members there who was able to give us a tour - it was like stepping into history!

After that, we were all exhausted and went to meet up with Olu for dinner.  We had a good time just sitting around, talking, sharing stories and ideas and dreams, and generally enjoying one another's company!  It was a long day - especially after a week of camp - but overall very educational, interesting, and definitely thought provoking.

Did I mention you should check out my pictures (I'm uploading as I type this!): http://picasaweb.google.com/holly.wegman/ATourOfMonrovia#

Free for All!

It is hard to believe it is already Monday and we are back in school!  The long Christmas break - 4 whole weeks - seems to have really flown by.  But no time has passed by quite as quickly as our week hosting Passport Liberia here on Ricks' campus.  We had almost 100 students share in a week of learning and fun and worship and work and general craziness (in the good sense, of course) here in Liberia. 

I don't really know where to begin to summarize our week of camp.  So much happened!  Sunday was our opening day; the campers arrived, registered, and settled in to the girls' and boys' dorms.  For some of them, this was quite normal; for others, however, staying in the dorm was a new and exciting experience.  That evening after dinner we all gathered together for Opening Celebration, a time of excitement and celebration of the week we are preparing to share.  Afterward, the campers met with their Bible study groups for the first time - groups consisting of girls and boys from all different grade levels, many of whom would not typically spend much time together during the regular school year.  After Bible study time we gathered together again for Vespers, a short worship service to prepare ourselves for all that God would teach us throughout the week. 

The next 4 days were packed!  We all gathered together for morning celebration to begin each day.  It amazed me how much energy the campers seemed to have each morning - genuine energy, not energy feigned to give the appearance of excitement.  From there campers would spend the morning and afternoon in three different activities: Bible study, recreation (low ropes course), and missions. 

Each day in Bible studies the campers learned about a different freedom: freedom from the need to prove themselves, freedom from shame, using their freedom to free others, and freedom to become who God has created them to be.  Out on the ropes course, the students had to work together to accomplish a number of challenging tasks.  They had to trust one another, work as a team, and think creatively about solutions to seemingly impossible problems.  I was amazed by how well everyone did on the ropes course and believe that there were definitely some life lessons learned out there!  For our mission projects, the students were building incinerators of red brick and mortar (a mix of dirt, cement, and water) where trash from the campus can be burned (it is currently thrown in the bushes or piled on the ground and slowly burned in an open fire).  Although the incinerators (3 total) were not completed during the week, significant progress was made and the students at Ricks will work to finish these projects over the next few weeks.  These new structures will certainly help us to be free from trash!

Each night we all played together at a party - "rec party" on night one (fun running around outside), a dance on night two, learning the Grand March (a traditional Liberian dance) on night three, and a variety show (Ricks' Idol) on night 4.  The campers really had a blast at these, and it was fun for me to be able to dance with some of my students and have them see me outside of the role of "strict Ms. Wegman" for a few days! 

We also celebrated in worship every night, singing songs, praying new prayers, hearing scripture, and learning from sermons preached by a different person each night.  I even had the opportunity to preach one night - a first for me, but an experience I definitely enjoyed.  Worship was truly moving.  There were moments when I would begin to feel frustrated because worship did not look exactly like I thought it should - it was noisy and somewhat chaotic, not quiet and reverent as I often think of worship.  But the noise and the energy and the soul that went into each night made worship a truly meaningful and essential part of Passport.  I hope the campers were able to experience God in a new way each night through a new and different kind of worship - I know I did. 

Finally on Friday we wrapped up with a short Bible study and a celebration of all that happened throughout the week.  We sang some favorite songs from camp (YMCA was amazingly popular!!) and gave final challenges to the campers.  We closed by taking lots of pictures in front of the school and saying our goodbyes. 

Passport Liberia 2010 seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye, similar to my overall time here in Liberia.  But it was a truly great week spent discovering the freedom each of us have in Christ.  Check out my page on Picasa for pictures (and more on the way ASAP!)!!

Passport Liberia 2010

This will be just a short post to give you all a quick update.... the reason my post must be so short is that we are currently in the midst of Passport Liberia 2010!!

Many of you might know about Passport from the States, but if you haven't ever heard of it, it's a Christian youth/kids camp... you can check in out at passportcamps.org

This week we are having camp here at Ricks.  Right now we have almost 100 youth and 12 staff - 6 American and 6 Liberian.  Camp started on Sunday and will continue until Friday afternoon.  I'll update with more details as soon as I can - but I wanted to let you all know about this very exciting time at Ricks!

New Year, New Adventures, New Friends

We are only 3 days in to the New Year, and already it is off to a great start filled with wonderful and new adventures!  I admit that our New Years Eve was not much - I actually forgot it was a special day for the most part.  Highlights included looking at my phone by sheer luck (I was already in bed) when it read 00:00 (it's in military time) on 01/01/2010.  There was no countdown, but I think I did hear someone ringing the dining hall bell in the distance, and I did have cell-phone confirmation that it was in fact the year 2010, so that has to count for something!

The days in 2010, however, have been a bit more exciting.  We made some new friends last Sunday (friends of a friend of Ann Elizabeth), and they invited us to hang out in Monrovia for a few days.  They are all here working on construction of the new US Embassy in town, and they are all, strangely, from Birmingham (where Ann Elizabeth lives).  We went over to their compound in town on Friday and spent the evening grilling out and watching/attempting to watch some college bowl games on TV. 

Saturday morning we woke up early and headed out to Bong County (in the heart of Liberia) to see a waterfall.  It was a 4 hour drive, about 3 hours of which were on pothole covered paved roads and about 1 hour was on a bumpy dirt road.  It was a long nauseating drive, but seeing more of the country including a beautiful waterfall was well worth it.  The waterfall was beautiful and was surrounded by enormous trees - not quite the size of Redwoods but darn close.  When we arrived there was another group already there, and we all awkwardly stared at each other from afar until we finally started talking... turns out they were mostly Peace Corp volunteers from all around Liberia.  There were about 10 people in their group, and we sat on rocks in the midst of the waterfall, enjoying the sun and good conversation with one another.  They were all in their bathing suits and finally I decided I couldn't resist - did a quick change behind a rock and swam at the base of the waterfall.  It was quite cold, but in the heat of the sun it felt amazing.  We finished the day off with some packed PB&J sandwiches, chips, cookies and brownies.  Then we headed back for Monrovia, a long drive that would have been much worse had it not been for good conversation with new friends.  That evening we just hung out at our friends' compound, ate pizza, watched TV, and continued to talk for hours.

One thing that has amazed me, throughout my time here but especially in the last few days, is how readily and completely people have befriended us and taken us in.  From the moment we arrived at Ricks, the entire community became our surrogate family.  Now these new friends - people we met only a week ago - have been amazingly hospitable and welcoming.  We have spent two nights with them, been fed, been given hot showers and air conditioning and all those little amenities that seem small but also feel like home.  Each person we have met - from strangers at a waterfall to mutual friends to people we meet along the path at Ricks - has been nothing but warm and kind and loving.  I feel as if we live in a place where you never meet a stranger - southern hospitality to the max.  This is something I will miss terribly when we leave. 

So far the new year - both 2010 year and my 25th year - have brought nothing but goodness and fun and adventure.  I am grateful already.