Amidst the Chaos, Peace

I am always glad when Friday arrives, but this week I am happier than usual to say "TGIF!"  This week was surprisingly long, with moments of frustration and general uneasiness beyond what I've experienced so far.  It's hard to put into words the frustrations of the week... some frustrations deal with circumstances beyond our control, some are due to normal work-place tensions you would find anywhere in the world, and some probably stem from our continual adjustment to a different way of life.  Whatever the cause, I felt myself dealing with more frustration this week than I have felt in a very long time.

Thursday, however, was a better day for no apparent reason.  My students were less talkative (perhaps because they were taking their first quiz of the semester...), the morning seemed to pass by quickly, and we had a break from basketball practice due to rain.  That evening, we were invited to attend a women's Bible study on campus.  Somewhat randomly, I had actually taught this Bible study last week, and really enjoyed the meeting.  On this particular Thursday night, however, I was feeling so tired, and thought about not going.  But after mustering up the will-power, Ann Elizabeth and I made it to the meeting.  I am so glad I went.

Amidst a week of frustrations, I found a peace among this group of women.  There were only six of us there (as opposed to around 12 last week), but it felt comforting to be spending the evening with these women.  We open by singing some songs of praise - just voices and a sasa (a small shaker-type instrument) - sang from the heart, upbeat, and celebrating God's presence.  Next Monen, the first-grade teacher here, taught the Bible study.  The gist of her lesson was that God uses ALL people, that God can and will use anyone.  The key, however, is that each person must make himself/herself available to God.  No matter who you are or what circumstances you face each day, God is wants to use you for good if you want to be used.

This message provided me comfort and a challenge.  I find comfort knowing God will use me.  Even in moments where I feel like I'm turning into this mean, crazy teacher, God is using me.  But the message was also a challenge to continue to make myself available to God.  It is not enough for me to be here at Ricks; I must make myself available each day.  Whether I'm frustrated beyond what I feel able to control or I am content beyond words, I must continue to make myself available, knowing God is using me and will continue to use me.  This message was not one I realized I needed to hear, but it seemed to be exactly what I needed last night.  I am trying to see each day as a new start and a new opportunity to make myself available to be used by God to work for good here in Liberia.  The work I get to do here each day is a privilege, and although it can be easy to forget this fact, I am determined to remain grateful and available each day.